


darling, with love

by asiren (meliorismo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU: last moment before you die, F/F, Female!EXO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:19:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliorismo/pseuds/asiren
Summary: How long can last a moment?





	darling, with love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2014. Reposted now, August/2017.   
> all the mistakes are mine.   
> i will keep the original dedicatory, which is:   
> para giu, mesmo que não tenha um motivo: na poesia o sol simplesmente se levanta de manhã.

**darling, with love**

 

I'm building this house, on the moon

Like a lost

Astronaut

— jaymes young

 

The sky was pink when I finally died.

I mean, of all the colors in the world — pink as cotton candy was what I got. And I felt very blessed, even if Lu Han's tears were what soaked me, and not rain; even if the sky was pink, and not summer blue; even if I was shot dead and not killed by some old age disease.

It wasn't perfect or anything, but was still a good, respectable death.

And I'm watching it all. Not like ghost or shit like that; it's my very last moment, and then I will walk away. I'll leave Lu Han here, to bear my absence, to go on with her life, for better or worst. How long can last a moment?

I think it's now that I tell you a history, right? Because Lu Han is shaking my dead body, sobbing and crying; I don't want to see that. You shouldn't either. It's okay, you won't be bored; I will talk until this moment ends.

Well, there's a lot of ways sunshine can touch someone — sometimes you are just there, making vitamin D, but not always.

Sometimes it makes you shine.

I was always a proudly integrant of group A, but Lu Han, oh my god. Lu Han was her own sun. The light would touch her and she'd shine away.

There was this time, she waked up in the middle of night, _why do you always keep the window open? you hate the sunshine on your face, first thing in the morning_. I didn't say anything. How could I? Embarrassed the way I was. Didn't want to explain that the sheets were white and her hair was very black and the light would touch her— I couldn't say that. Wasn't brave enough.

(and now, the same woman who asked that awkward question, crying more than I thought her capable. oh jesus. oh _dear_ )

When I was a child I believed in fairy tales. My favorite was Snow White, but only the way my sister would tell it. I was the Asian Princess who would make friends with the lonely Evil Queen and would end the story kicking all the princes ass. I loved to hear and my sister loved to tell. When I met Lu Han, I told her this. She loved it too.

I was always eager to please; my mother, my sister, my ex girlfriends, Lu Han. I was like an addicted, never could get enough. With every fix I got my hands on I would want _more_. And I always would think _this isn't enough. This is just the tinniest thing, they're keeping the true love from me._

I chased love all my life. Now that I'm dead, is painfully clear how I've always had it.

Death, maybe that's the real secret. Puts everything in perspective. I can still hear Lu Han yelling — she wants somebody to call 911, but it's useless, I'm pretty much dead —, but I'm in another reality. I'm having my last moment; sharing it with you. I'm dead! My life is over! I will never chase happiness and it will never chase me! None of my dreams matter!

Being dead is like preparing to die after a very long disease, but calmer. With less pain. More comfortable, you could say.

I will miss Lu Han dearly, and I just died. Will it go on forever? And my sister! And sunshine. Oh, darling, don't you worry; I lov—


End file.
